I felt it was appropriate to hear from the person I care for first. So this is my Wife Claire.
Hi, I am Claire and am pleased to be able to talk to you about being someone who is Cared for. My husband, Michael, is my Carer, this has it’s good points and bad points. The best good point is that I get to spend so much more time with him, the pain I go through is worth that. However, there are still some things I feel ashamed and embarrassed talking to him about and having him know about them. The line is so thin, I know I feel sometimes if Michael was not my Carer, I would not tell him of some problems I have. I want to try and keep my dignity and still be his wife. I feel on a regular basis that I am a burden not just to Michael but to my children also. If Michael wants to go out to some meeting at night he always checks that someone can Mummy sit. I was in tears yesterday because of something my daughter had to help me with.
I know on many occasions, especially after three nights in a row of having to waken Michael to help me, that he and the children should be able to have a break, I keep telling him that he should put me into respite care for a short while but he will not do it. His answer every time is the same, he loves me and he does not want to even think about it. Funnily enough the reason I want him to think about it, is the same, I love him and hate having to put too much on his shoulders.
If you are in the same situation as ours, the only bit of advice I could tell you, is to make sure you keep talking as husband and wife; otherwise that thin line I spoke about earlier becomes very, very blurred. Hopefully I will be allowed to keep contributing to this blog and will be able to talk to you again about being the person who is Cared for.
Bye for now and Take Care