When That Very Thin Line Nearly Disappears.

Another Blog written by my Wife Claire

I know I touched briefly on the subject of the thin line between parent/child relationships and you/better half relationships becoming blurry. But really as a cared for disabled person there have been times that the thin line in both of the above relationships has all but disappeared. I know I and am sure many other cared for people come to the point of nearly losing the relationship that should be there. I know I have had let my husband and children do many things for me that I find both embarrassing and ashamed of.

Oh yes I can already hear everyone saying it cannot be that bad but please believe me when I say it is that bad and maybe worse. The feeling of being a burden never leaves you; you try everything possible before asking for help yet again. Having to waken someone through the night to help you is a horrible feeling but one you have to cross. Sometimes when I am feeling lonely I forget that along with caring for me, my better half still has the house work, the shopping, driving every where our children want to go, oops nearly forgot walking the dog, then I phone downstairs and ask for some company just when my better half has finally found five minutes to sit down at last, I feel so angry if I get a huff and hear the words please just let me have a couple of minutes then I will be up. That is when I feel a real bitch and so to try and conquer that I try not to phone down as much.

Then the thin line starts to slightly reappear, my better half comes up more often and we can sit and talk about anything, then my children come up and have hugs and we can talk for ages. That is when suddenly you can realise that there are good points to being ill. Extra time with my other half and children.
So please everyone who is being cared for like I am, take the time to say an extra thank you, so that your loved ones really do know how very much we appreciate everything they do both for us and our family.

Take care

Claire Grieve.


6 thoughts on “When That Very Thin Line Nearly Disappears.

  1. Pingback: Do you enjoy your Job ? | Carers Speaking Out

  2. Dear Michael,

    I found your blog while researching online communities and the use of digital media in creating and supporting them, both as part of my volunteering for the Edinburgh based charity and support network Pain Concern and as a writer and PA involved in social business and social enterprise. As a carer for my late mother, who had ME and lung cancer, I can relate to the struggles of carers and want to help find voices to voice and support them.

    In my capacity as voluntary publicity officer for Pain Concern, I hope you don’t mind if I enquire whether you know of our website at PainConcern.org.uk? We have a Personal Stories page we would like to use as a resource for people who deal with pain, as sufferers or carers, so that people who may feel like they are suffering alone can have access to a wider community. If you would like to contribute a personal story – of anything length, with an angle which you can decide upon – please feel free to contact me at media@painconcern.org.uk.

    We are also sometimes approached by journalists and the media for contributions from ‘media volunteers’ – people who would like to share their stories. If you would be interested in registering as a media volunteer, a simple case of filling out a small consent form, you can use the above email address for that also.

    Thank you for your time in reading this,

    Fergus Harlow

    • I don’t know how to thank you for the lovely comments you said in your post. I think (actually am 99.9% sure) I will be in touch to the email address
      Thank you again,
      Claire Grieve.

  3. I can totally empathise Claire.I am my husband`s 24/7 Carer and sometimes – to my shame -I get upset/angry on being woken after a totally exhausting day.Your Michael – like me – doesn`t really mean it though,he loves you .x

    • Yes he does and I, like your husband, just want you to know how grateful we are. I know I feel some days I don’t let Michael know. I know on my part, and I am sure I speak for many people cared for by Unpaid Carers, that it is time we show just how much loved, supported and cared for we are.

      Best wishes

      • Claire – Michael is one of my FB friends and I know how deep his love for you ,which now includes being your Carer ,is.My husband is very much older than you – and I don`t think it has ever crossed his mind that I – at 20 years younger – have missed out on things I had hoped we would do together.You yourself are obviously a very caring person to be so objective and recognise Michael`s role as your Carer.Do you know what though – after the initial shock of realising I was a 24/7 Carer,having to give up my career 15 years early -I find that Larry and I have reached a whole new level of love.Apart from his illness -I regret nothing .
        Take care xxx

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