If you can make it, come along to the petition hand-in. The more of us that are there, the more impact we can have. Here’s what you need to know:
When: 19th Febuary 2015 @ 3:00pm Where: NHS Borders
TD6 9DA Extra info: It is not envisaged that this will last any longer than 30 minuets and press will be invited so a big turnout would be great this petition is about People not buildings so please come along.
Its been over a week since I last posted and other than some reductions in the swelling in Claire’s legs there is really no change in Claire’s physical health. She is however so much happier to be in the living room as opposed to the bedroom up the stairs. We are still no further forward in getting a “Hospital Bed”. This would make life so much easier as the bed she is using is very low. So need to get one Not sure how to yet. The doctor has not been in touch either considering they referred Claire to the hospital I would have thought they might have wondered is she still had the symptoms which by the way she has.
I am enjoying Claire being down stairs its just a case of working out a routine sometimes takes us a while when there is a change. We are getting there though. Its great spending so much time with Claire as not only is she my wife she is my best friend and I didn’t realise how much I had missed just being able to sit and watch TV with her. Being able to do this again has helped us both so much.
I am sometimes surprised at why people think I blog.
Recently I was told by a MSP “I have great Sympathy for what you do” This made me wonder if people thought that is why I blog to look for sympathy. Well to clear that up NO I DON’T.” I have never looked for Sympathy for what I do that’s not the type of person I am so anyone who thinks that has not been reading my blogs properly.
The whole point of this Blog is to speak up for carers and not seek sympathy for them but more Respect and Understanding. Some people don’t get it and when its an elected representative and a Member of the Scottish Government that in my humble opinion makes it worse. I am not going to Name the MSP as this is not about.
I am not seeking to stand as a candidate for Council, Holyrood or Westminster and have no plans to do so in the for see able future. I have my own political opinion and it is my own. I know that life is not Black and White Neither is it Red verses Blue there are other shades of politics and Football available. However we must also work together and so over the past few years I have spoke to people from all political parties to further the Understanding of Carers in Scotland.
So if you haven’t read this Blog before please read some and hopefully you will have a better understanding of carers and indeed the people they care for.
I have not posted for a while for a number of reasons none of these reasons is that I had nothing to say. Those of you who know me will know I never have nothing to say. I have however found it hard to be positive recently.
It is hard to be positive when not a lot of positive things are happening. I watch every day as Mrs G is in pain and I can do nothing about it. I say platitudes like “its going to be OK” Its hard to keep this up for a long time when Mrs G picks up one infection after another and does not get a break. Carers are not immune to these infections too and its hard to stay positive when you are not feeling well either. However I have to try as no matter how unwell I may feel Mrs G feels worse as she has her daily pain to deal with too and if she can’t use her distraction methods to deal with the pain its worse.
So how do you stay positive ? the simple answer is you don’t but you try.
We are all learning every day and as a carer you are always learning as your life adapts day-to-day.
You have to adapt to changes in the NHS, Changes to the health of the person you care for and changes to legislation in benefits and Social Care.
If you’re not used to it you have to learn to be a cook. I really enjoy cooking meals from scratch and we have all benefited from fresh food rather than the Iceland and Farmfoods frozen food. Apart from the health benefits you enjoying food more and getting Claire to eat more and have a healthy and varied diet. I enjoy both the fact that I have created a meal and the fact that other people are enjoying it. I have developed a bit of a keen eye for cooking and find it quite relaxing other than the cleaning up afterwords. I Might post even some of my own recipes at some point.
You have to learn patience now those of you who know me will know I have a long way to go to master this art. I have never been a very patient person but over the years it has improved. I find meditation has improved my patience I am far from reaching Nirvana but I do believe the Zen state exists.
Along with patience you have to learn how to be assertive without being aggressive something else I have still to master completely. There is a fine line between aggression and assertiveness. That’s the part I still have to learn.
I have always been political and Joining the political party at 15 helped me develop into who I am now the encouragement of older people who were not relatives inspired me no end. I Would hate to be a carer and not able to speak up not only for myself but for the person I care for. Fortunately this is something that is not something I have a problem with.
So carers are always having to learn, having to remain calm and not be seen as aggressive. Ah I have a long way to go and the road may be long with many a winding turn but who knows where oops no sorry that he aint heavy he’s my brother. I will keep you posted on my development and please feel free to comment with yours.
We are told that the CEO s of the Big Banks get paid the big money as they have to make the big decisions. We we know from experience that they didn’t always get them right.
This isn’t a rant about the bankers it’s about the tough decisions we as carers make every day. The stress of looking after someone 24/7 figures show that Carers are twice as likely to suffer from Depression. I myself suffer from Clinical Depression I have to take Anti Depressants and still have days when I am very down. I find these days are more likely to happen when I feel I am getting nowhere particularly in relation to Claire s health and battling the powers that be to get help, where is am labelled a bully for speaking up for my wife or indeed on days where I know that Claire’s pain is bad and I feel powerless to help. This is when I must fight the most I must not turn to the “Dark Side” but it is hard the Anti Depressants help with the chemical in balance but the mood trigger can still be there which is like being kicked in the teeth emotionally.
Now I know I am not the only carer going through this but these are the times you need friends and help from Carers organisations the most. You have to know when you need help there is no stigma to Depression and Stress. I try to do what I can for the See Me charity which campaigns against the stigma of Mental Health. It only amounts to getting posters and leaflets for the Schools and GP Surgeries but if that points at least one person in the right direction of help then I have done something. Remember there are people to help.