I am sometimes surprised at why people think I blog.
Recently I was told by a MSP “I have great Sympathy for what you do” This made me wonder if people thought that is why I blog to look for sympathy. Well to clear that up NO I DON’T.” I have never looked for Sympathy for what I do that’s not the type of person I am so anyone who thinks that has not been reading my blogs properly.
The whole point of this Blog is to speak up for carers and not seek sympathy for them but more Respect and Understanding. Some people don’t get it and when its an elected representative and a Member of the Scottish Government that in my humble opinion makes it worse. I am not going to Name the MSP as this is not about.
I am not seeking to stand as a candidate for Council, Holyrood or Westminster and have no plans to do so in the for see able future. I have my own political opinion and it is my own. I know that life is not Black and White Neither is it Red verses Blue there are other shades of politics and Football available. However we must also work together and so over the past few years I have spoke to people from all political parties to further the Understanding of Carers in Scotland.
So if you haven’t read this Blog before please read some and hopefully you will have a better understanding of carers and indeed the people they care for.
I have not posted for a while for a number of reasons none of these reasons is that I had nothing to say. Those of you who know me will know I never have nothing to say. I have however found it hard to be positive recently.
It is hard to be positive when not a lot of positive things are happening. I watch every day as Mrs G is in pain and I can do nothing about it. I say platitudes like “its going to be OK” Its hard to keep this up for a long time when Mrs G picks up one infection after another and does not get a break. Carers are not immune to these infections too and its hard to stay positive when you are not feeling well either. However I have to try as no matter how unwell I may feel Mrs G feels worse as she has her daily pain to deal with too and if she can’t use her distraction methods to deal with the pain its worse.
So how do you stay positive ? the simple answer is you don’t but you try.
My husband has learnt to do so many new things since my illness began, he is now, of course perfected the art of laundry, got fed up of my love of washing dishes, so we acquired a dishwasher. The art of folding and hanging his laundry to such a perfect degree, that my second love, ironing, is hardly ever required.
Mr G’s cooking in all reality beats mine hands down so damn much. His soup making, stews, roasts, bread making and to top it off his bloody jam making skills, make me so damn jealous.
His hunting down bargains while shopping also beat mine I am ashamed to admit. Unless he shops with our eldest daughter, his weekly shopping means I can actually save money!!
Now he has yet again excelled at another new talent, Mr G to my utter and total amazement, not only cut my hair, he managed to thin it quite a bit also.
Although he has amassed all the above new talents, his biggest and best new talent his being an unpaid carer. He finds this a shock that he is able to care for me. I however never ever doubted he could do this, as I have always trusted in him and please believe me that I have total respect in every unpaid carer.
We are told that the CEO s of the Big Banks get paid the big money as they have to make the big decisions. We we know from experience that they didn’t always get them right.
This isn’t a rant about the bankers it’s about the tough decisions we as carers make every day. The stress of looking after someone 24/7 figures show that Carers are twice as likely to suffer from Depression. I myself suffer from Clinical Depression I have to take Anti Depressants and still have days when I am very down. I find these days are more likely to happen when I feel I am getting nowhere particularly in relation to Claire s health and battling the powers that be to get help, where is am labelled a bully for speaking up for my wife or indeed on days where I know that Claire’s pain is bad and I feel powerless to help. This is when I must fight the most I must not turn to the “Dark Side” but it is hard the Anti Depressants help with the chemical in balance but the mood trigger can still be there which is like being kicked in the teeth emotionally.
Now I know I am not the only carer going through this but these are the times you need friends and help from Carers organisations the most. You have to know when you need help there is no stigma to Depression and Stress. I try to do what I can for the See Me charity which campaigns against the stigma of Mental Health. It only amounts to getting posters and leaflets for the Schools and GP Surgeries but if that points at least one person in the right direction of help then I have done something. Remember there are people to help.